Polychemy Blog

How To Deal With Conflicting Opinions When Planning Your Wedding

Let's face it-you're not going to love every idea, suggestion or detail others want you to add to your wedding day.

Even if you have the most laid back family members and friends, there's something about a wedding announcement that makes people get very particular about their wants and expectations.

While we can guarantee big requests will feel daunting-your mother wants you to wear her dress, your aunt wants to make your wedding cake or your hobby photographer friend wants to shoot your wedding-don't underestimate the small asked-for details too.

Sara Fried, owner of Fête Nashville, a luxury wedding planning and events company, has seen couples asked to use certain stemware for their toasts, hide something in the bouquet or incorporate a selection of flower types.

If the key to a successful marriage is all about compromise, then think of wedding planning as lots of little opportunities to practice.

A tweak to the request: If mom wants you to wear her wedding dress from the early 1980s, but the dress looks like it should stay in that decade, ask if you can wear her veil instead. Or maybe see if she'd consider a bespoke gown made from the dress, merging your two styles into one fresh new gown.

Repurposing the request: Even if your aunt is a great baker, if she's never made an actual wedding cake, it's natural to feel a bit iffy about her abilities.

Instead of your wedding cake, ask her to put her baking skills to work making cupcakes to serve at the rehearsal dinner instead. Try a less important day: Your friend's photography skills may be good, but there is a lot of lighting and lens knowledge needed to beautifully capture the all the little details of your day.

You can actually put a trusted friend or even a wedding planner on the job.

"Sometimes we may have a very enthusiastic relative who will approach me as the planner on wedding day, thrilled to share they have a big surprise for the bride and groom-a song they've written or a toast with props or something unconventional that was not in the original timeline and probably more appropriate for a rehearsal dinner or engagement party," says Fried.

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