Polychemy Blog

How To Choose Your Wedding Party

Once you've asked someone to be in your wedding party, you can't go back.

So while it may be tempting to ask all of your favorite friends to be in your wedding party the minute you get engaged, don't.

Then ask yourself this question: Will I be just as close to this person in five years as I am now? Tip for the taking: If you're on the fence about asking someone to be in your wedding party, consider how they'd fit in with the rest of your attendants.

What sort of a role do you want your wedding party to play? Is it important to you that they help to address wedding invites, shop for your day-of attire with you and attend all of the prewedding parties? Or will it be enough for them to wear what you choose and show up on your wedding day? If you want a very involved wedding party, it may not be the best idea to ask friends or family who live far away or have extremely hectic schedules.

Tip for the taking: For friends who can't commit for whatever reason, let them in on just a few wedding prep activities, like an invitation stuffing party complete with wine and pizza.

The average wedding party size is four on either side.

For a smaller wedding with around 50 to 60 guests, have no more than four, but for a larger wedding of, say, 150, you could go up to 12 if you really wanted.

The more attendants you have, the more details to organize -flattering tuxes or dresses, a bachelor or bachelorette party with 12 attendants who have busy schedules, wedding party gifts and so much more.

Tip for the taking: If there are a lot of people you want to include in your wedding party but just can't, give them other roles, like usher, ceremony reader or candlelighter.

You don't need to ask someone to be in your wedding because they asked you to be in their wedding.

Tip for the taking: If they want to talk to you about why they aren't in your wedding, be completely honest.

Tip for the taking: Having an adults-only wedding? You can still have kids play their roles at the ceremony and not allow them at the reception.

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